STAR WARS: MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
by startrekkienerdgirl
Summary: this story is derived from the classical shakespeareian story with a star wars twist Han solo falls in love with a sadistic Leia while his friend Luke falls for a quite girl and leia's cousin Winter this story will bring a few laughs as it goes on in the battle of the Sexes story in the corellian city of Cornet Play-fic
1. character index

Authors Note

Hello there i'm starwarsnerd and this is not my original story it a shakespeare story but i've mixed it with star wars characters i do not own them either they belong to lucas/disney i hope you enjoy this crossover STAR WARS: MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING!

here are the characters

Leonato- Bail organa  
Beatrice- Leia  
Benedick- Han Solo  
Claudio- Luke Skywalker  
Hero- Winter  
Don pedro- Garm Bel Ilbis  
Don John- Thrackan Sal Solo  
Margret- Crysta  
Borachio- Lando Calerissian  
Conrade- Jabba the Hutt  
Dogberry- General Rieekan  
Verges- General Madine  
Antonio- Timothy Organa  
Balthasar- Chewbacca  
Ursula- Mon Mothma


	2. Scene 1

Act 1 scene 1

(Bail organa prince of Corellia enters with his Daughter Winter, and niece Leia along with a messenger named Wedge Antilles)  
Bail: (holding a letter) according to this flimsy Garm Bel ilbis of Aldera will be coming with his army to cornet tonight  
Wedge: he must be very close by now when I left him he was less than nine miles from here sir  
Bail: how many rebel soldiers were killed in the battle you just fought?  
Wedge: not to many sir of course no one important that is  
Bail: what do you mean no one important? Every god forsaken Rebel is Important to our fight yes indeed sir this flimsy also says Garm gave a medal to a young man from tatoonie by the Name of Luke  
Wedge: Luke deserves to be honored, and Garm did so accordingly no every expected him to fight like he does he's like a bantha that fights like a rancor sir  
Bail: he has an uncle here in Cornet that will be proud to hear this news  
Wedge: I did take some flimsies to his uncle he was so proud he became emotional  
Bail: did he cry?  
Wedge: why yes sire he did  
Bail: it's a natural thing isn't it to cry for such a victory  
Leia: please tell me master Yoda returned from the retched battle  
Wedge: I don't know anyone with that name there were no men in our rebel fleet by that name  
Bail: who are you talking about niece  
Winter: My cousin here means fellow Han solo of Corell corellia  
Wedge: oh yes Han solo has returned as joyful as ever  
Leia: Han once put up a public notice in Cornet challenging the great corellian goddess of love dumb fool  
Bail: for the love of pete! Leia you criticize fellow Han solo too much! But I'm very sure even he will get even with you  
Wedge: sir solo served well in the war malady  
Leia: he's a good solider to a lady? Well then what is he to a lord?  
Bail: he is honorable he dawn the great corellian blood stripes my niece a very high honor  
Leia: absolutely he's a stuffed dummy! That of what he's stuffed with is a different story  
Bail: please don't mind my dear niece sir Leia and Han have waged a war of wits whenever they meet it's a small battle  
Leia: and I always win (smirks at her uncle bail) last time we fought he was so dazed he was no smarter than the taun-taun he rode so who's he with these days rumor has it he has a new best friend every sleep cycle  
Wedge: is that even possible?  
Leia: yes because he's so fickle no man will be around his sorry ass for long  
Wedge: I can see very well you hate this gentleman  
Leia: No I don't hate him but seriously tell me who's his friend this time? Is some new swaging kid from tatoonie the hell with Han  
Wedge: for he spends a lot of time around the one they call Luke malady  
Leia: oh god Han has sickened him like a disease! Han's sickness so easily caught but alas hard to get rid of poor Luke save him the great gods above from Han solo's evil disease! He'll be broke before the end of this night if you don't!  
Wedge: ok… I'm going to stay on your good side Miss  
Leia: do that good fellow  
Wedge: Garm Bel ilbis is here!  
(Garm Bel ilbis enters with Han, Luke, Chewbacca, and Thrackan Sal solo)  
Bail: you will fall for Han's charms my good fickle niece  
Leia: no not until we see hot January  
Garm: my dear friend Bail hosting my whole army is such a burden but you dare except to accept it but I with open arms for my people have tried to stay a stray from the trouble but alas it finds us  
Bail: you are never trouble to this place your grace it's comforting when trouble departs but when you leave you take happiness with you as well as leaving sorrow in its place  
Garm: you take up your job here to cheerfully (turning to winter) and you must be dear sweet winter  
Han: did you doubt that she was your daughter? Since ya know you asked her mother?  
Bail: of course not sir Solo you were only a child when my daughter was born yet not an age old enough for corellian tradition to seduce my wife  
Garm: Yes he has you back eh Han? Bail clearly knows your reputation for women seriously though the dear lady resembles Bail so well that there can be no mistake of resemblance  
(Bail and Garm move to one side still talking)  
Han: well even if she is her father the poor girl wouldn't want the old man's head on her shoulders  
Leia: I'm surprised you're still talking Han when no one is left to listen to you babble on  
Han: look it's my dearest lady distain aren't you dead yet?  
Leia: how could distain die when you're here? When you're around every lady of courtesy becomes a lady of distain  
Han: that makes the courtesy of the lady a traitor. All the ladies love me except you it's too bad that I'm so hard hearted because I really don't love anyone  
Leia: the women of corellia are very lucky then because you would be a terrible suitor thankfully I have to feel the way you do I feel there is no need for romance such as a kiss I'd rather hear a Wookie howl at the moon before listening to a man swear his love for me  
Han: I do hope you stay in that frame of mind for a poor man could get a terrible scar from you  
Leia: if his face is as ugly as yours it wouldn't hurt to have good scar on his chin such as yours  
Han: listen to you instruct me like a mother to her child  
Leia: I'd rather be a wild child then be a animal like you  
Han: I wish my taun- taun moved as fast as his mouth and was as tireless alright I'm done  
Leia: you always slip out of arguments like this I knew you from before  
(Bail and Garm come forward)  
Garm: and that's everything Bail. Luke, Han my dear friend Bail has welcomed you to stay here on cornet. I told him we'll stay for at the least a month he wishes us to stay longer I for one think he's being serious and not just being a good host  
Bail: I'm am being serious dear friend of mine (to Thrackan) I welcome you as well to the house of organa now that you and your cousin Han have made friends again I owe you the same allegiance as I owe Han  
Thrackan: thank you I'm not a man who talks a lot but I thank you lord organa  
Bail: if it please you your grace you may please lead us inside  
(everyone exits except Han and Luke)  
Luke: Han did you take a notice to sir Organa's lovely daughter  
Han: I saw her but alas Kid I didn't notice her  
Luke: isn't she a well mannered young lady?  
Han: do you want my true opinion kid or do you want me criticize her like I do all women?  
Luke: no please speak seriously Han  
Han: well it seems she's too short to be praised highly too dark to be praised fairly and too small to be praised greatly I can only say this about her because of her precious looks if she looked different then she did than she would be ugly! And since she can't be anything but herself I don't like her!  
Luke: you really think I'm kidding don't you seriously tell me what you think of her  
Han: are you thinking of buying her are that why you ask so much?  
Luke: would it even be possible to buy a jewel as precious as sweet winter?  
Han: yes and you could buy a case to put it in to but are you really speaking seriously here kid? Or are you just teasing if you want me to dance along with you then I need to know the tone of the dance we perform  
Luke: I think she's the most amazing woman I've ever laid eyes on  
Han: I'm still too young to see with glasses and I still don't see what you babble about kid if her beautiful cousin Leia didn't have such a nasty temper she would be so much more beautiful than winter it would be like comparing May to December but hey this doesn't mean you're looking to get married does it?  
Luke: even I swear not to marry I could break that swear if winter promised to marry me  
Han: what's wrong with people these days don't men know not to marry? She's just going to cheat on him will I ever see another sixty year old bachelor? Or will every man I know marry so young go ahead then I dare you to marry like a dewback carrying his load and throw away the fun times we've had together man! Looks as if Garm has come back for you  
(Garm bel ilbis enters)  
Garm: what secrets have you kept from us that keep you from following us to great Bail Organas boys?  
Han: your grace will have to force me to tell  
Garm: Ah Han Solo but the loyalty to me set by your beloved father requires me to know what you two have spoken of  
Han: look Luke I could keep your secret like a mute but I must give my allegiance to Garm it's a corellian tradition I must obey (to Garm) Luke is in love with Whom is the question you ask me next your grace look how short the answer is for it is with Winter Bail Organa's young daughter  
Luke: if you say so Han  
Han: listen to him deny it like the man in the story of Mr. Bantha it isn't true and would never be true god forbid it  
Luke: unless my poor feelings change I swear it to be true dear Garm  
Garm: it's good if you love Winter because she's much worthy of your love for her  
Luke: your trying to trick me my dear lord Bel ilbis  
Garm: I swear I'm telling you what I honestly think dear Luke  
Luke: and I swear I speak the truth to Han I'm in love with Winter  
Han: and I honestly think it's a terrible idea that you love Winter  
Luke: I feel I love her  
Garm: I know she is worthy of that love  
Han: I on the other hand think she can't be loved and shouldn't deserve your love Kid even fire can't melt that opinion out of my mind you could even burn me at the stake and I would still think that  
Garm: Han you never did believe in the power of beauty  
Luke: or the greatest power of all  
Han: (fuming) and what's that?  
Garm and Luke: Reason!  
Han: with anger or with hunger my dear friends but never ever sick with what revolting thing they call love! (grimaces) if you can prove to me that I can fall in love so deeply I can't be brought back to my five sense with a round of beer or corellian ale then you can pluck out me wondrous eyes and hang me on Darth vaders wall where blind Tarkin should hang  
Garm: I'll make sure to remember this fuss you've made when you do finally fall in love that'll be news to everyone's ears  
Han: if I ever change my mind you can use me as a target practice whomever shall hit the bull's eye shall be the hero  
Garm: well time will tell even the most savage of creatures will be eventually tamed  
Han: maybe so but I'll never ever be a tamed beast  
Luke: if that happened you'd go completely mad  
Garm: if cupid hasn't used up all the arrows in the town of corell he'll get you to shake and quiver just quick yes he will  
Han: that's about as likely as a Planet quake  
Garm: oh but we know Han Solo that someday very soon you will soften for a woman and you'll never come to your sense if you get married may the force bless you but if you stay a single for your life then may the force curse you!  
Han: oh I think I can handle this mission I commit you both!  
Luke: into god's hands from my home if I actually had one  
Garm: the sixth of marshby sincerely your friend Han  
Han: oh please! I know you dress you drag out conversation to fool me before you make fun of anyone else look at the devils in the mirror! And with that I'm leaving  
(Han storms off stage)  
Luke: my lord you could really help me out now  
Garm: winter is his only child and only heir to the throne of corellia do you like her Luke?  
Luke: oh my lord once we left here for war I looked upon winter through the eyes of a solider I liked what I saw before me but I had to think upon the rough war ahead of me the room I have now is no longer of war but of soft delicate feeling for the beauty all of my thoughts dance around her like a groups of lights I love her more than I did before we left for the painful war oh painful war!  
Garm: You will become a true lover soon, and exhaust your friends with your endless chatter about your feelings. Look, if you really love the beautiful Winter, enjoy it. I will speak to her and her father about the matter, and I'll convince Bail to promise Winter to you. Isn't that the reason you told me all this?  
Luke: You can see that I'm sick with love, and you're taking care of me in just the right way! But I didn't want you to think that I'm hasty in my emotions. I was going to explain my feelings with a longer story.  
Garm: Why speak longer than you have to? That's like building a bridge wider than the river it crosses. Whatever gets the job done is best. You love Winter; that's all I need to know to want to find a remedy. They're going to have a costume party with dancing tonight. I'll disguise myself as you and pour out "my" feelings to Winter, taking her prisoner with the force of my love story. Then I'll talk to her father. And in the end, she's yours! Let's get started right away.

(the two men Exit)


	3. Scene 2

Act 1 Scene 2

(Bail and Timothy Organa enter)  
Bail: hey there brother where is my nephew your son has he taken care of the music?  
Timothy: yes my brother it's been taken care of as we speak but my brother I have some strange news for you  
Bail: is it good news?  
Timothy: well to me it seems as good news brother one of my servants over heard Luke and Garm talking in the orchard and that Luke loves Winter he wishes to dance with her to night and offer his hand in marriage to the girl  
Bail: is this servant of yours a smart of a man as I think he is?  
Timothy: yes he's very bright I'll get him to come and you can ask him yourself brother  
Bail: No, No until it comes true we will pretend it was just a dream but my dear daughter should know of this so she can be prepared with an answer just in case go to her and tell her for me  
(they all exit)


	4. Scene 3

Act 1 Scene 3  
(thrackan Sal Solo and Jabba the hutt enter)

Jabba: my master why are you so sad?  
Thrackan: there are many things that cause my sadness so it is without limit  
Jabba: you should really start listening to reason then you'd stop being so sad and dark  
Thrackan: And after I listen to so called reason what's my reward?  
Jabba: if not the end to this then a beginning for new meaning  
Thrackan: you make me surprised at you for such a crazy man yourself- after crying over my deadly condition even my cousin Han solo didn't cry concerned yes but not cry! I can't hide away who I am I will be sad with reason and I won't laugh at anyone's dumb ass jokes I'll eat when I'm ready and not when it's convenient I'll sleep when I wish and won't rouse myself for nothing unless my cousin is dying which is very unlikely I'll laugh when I'm happy and won't flatter anyone or be flattered by anyone!  
Jabba: sure but don't do it until the point where there is no danger what is the fun in that? For If remember correctly not very long ago you were the one who challenged your cousin Han in a duel you're lucky he forgave you. For you need to cautious to stay in Han's good graces. You must wait for the appropriate time to let loose  
Thrackan: I'd rather be a corellian massive flower in a rose bush in my cousin's garden I'd rather have every soul hate me then to pretend to put on a show for people to like me it's indignant for a solo to do such things mind you I'm not a flattering holy man at least you could say I'm a honest villain. My dear cousin Han trusts me now? Trusts me as much as a master trusts a muzzled dog in public If the mouth I own was unrestrained I'd take all of my freedom and Bite Han so hard on the ass he would want to sit for a week I'd do what I pleased but until that day happens let me be who I am do not try to change me one bit!  
Jabba: can you somehow use your dislike to your own advantage  
Thrackan: I use it all the time t, who in the hell is that?  
(Lando enters)  
Jabba: what's going on Lando?  
Lando: for I have come from a great feast where sir Bail is entertaining your cousin Thrackan and Garm. I can give you information upon the impending marriage  
Thrackan: will this be an opportunity to make some sort of trouble? Who is this dumb ass that makes such a fuss over marriage?  
Lando: your cousin solo's right hand man sir  
Thrackan: who? That pretty boy Luke Skywalker?  
Lando: that's the one sir  
Thrackan: he's a fancy gentleman who's the lady he who has caught his eye and his heart?  
Lando: Winter the daughter and heir to Bail organa sir  
Thrackan: a lively young one how'd you learn of this?  
Lando: who me sir? I was hired to air freshen all the rooms in Bails house as I was working on a very odorous room I saw Garm bel ilbis enter with Luke Skywalker they were in the middle of a strange but serious conversation I hid behind a lamp post hearing them agree that Garm would court Winter tonight and ask her to dance once he won her consent to marry he would give her to Luke.  
Thrackan: Quickly men let's go to the great supper the people will be proud my mood has lightened it's too bad the cook doesn't think to like me she'd kill them all if she did. Should we go check out the house party then?  
Lando: lead the way sir  
(they all exit)


	5. ACT BREAK

ok everyone it is the end of Act 1 so now it's getting intense will han and leia fall in love will luke and winter marry? find out soon!


End file.
